we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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