you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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