I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize