Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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