I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
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