hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Randomize