its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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