Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize