So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
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