My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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