So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
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The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
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I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
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