the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
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we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
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I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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