Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize