just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize