I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize