just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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