The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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