When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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