I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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