using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Sorry about my life...
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize