She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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