Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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