oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize