i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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