Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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