After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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