maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
