..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
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