i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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