Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize