My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
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