sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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