dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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