im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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