hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
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I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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