why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
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