i just had sex bonerless
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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