i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my gift to your gina
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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