What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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