I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize