I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
