did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
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Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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