yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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