Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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