Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize