I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
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I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
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How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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