I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize