Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
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Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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