I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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