i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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